Anna-Mae "Toots" Stapley

My mom, Anna-Mae Stapley, known her whole life as Toots, moved on to the next part of her journey on Oct. 23, 2024. Toots was born in Rainy River, Ontario, Canada, on Feb. 6, 1934.

Her parents, Jenny and Stan Vennes, were tough square-shaped Scandinavians who made a living the old fashioned way, with hard work.

Stan worked for Canadian Pacific Railroad as a “hosler.” Jenny worked for the State Parliament as a secretary. These were winter jobs, held in Winnipeg, Manitoba. Summer jobs were spent at Lake of the Woods with Stan working as a hunting and fishing guide, with Jenny feeding the clients that came to Lake of the Woods to hunt moose or ducks and fish for the Great Northern Walleye.

Toots grew up in a life that was filled with the outdoors. Money was short but life experience was exhilarating.

In 1955, Toots met George William Inglis. They married and produced one daughter, Georgina Christine Inglis. George was a Scotsman from Capetown, South Africa. His family were tobacco growers. George fancied himself a photographer and writer. He wrote for a number of papers in Canada and later, when he and Toots immigrated to the United States, papers in California, including the Sacramento Bee and Modesto Bee (McClatchy Papers) and the San Luis Obispo Telegram Tribune.

In 1960, George and Toots divorced and Toots found herself raising her daughter as a single mother. Toots had a sixth-grade education and secretarial skills. She wanted to provide for herself and her daughter and family had no real money to help support her.

She decided that working as a cocktail waitress would bring in the greatest amount of money. So, Toots ended up working as a cocktail waitress for the Suess family at the Cigar Factory, a classy restaurant and bar in downtown San Luis Obispo.

In 1968 Toots suffered a nearly tragic accident. She suffered a brain injury when she was bucked off a horse that kicked her in the head. With no health insurance or family to help, she was taken to the County General Hospital. Where she was left unattended and nearly died from the concussion and a brain bleed.

Friends stepped in and found a neurosurgeon that agreed to examine her. That surgeon was Dr. Richard Williams. At risk of losing his license he checked Toots out of the General Hospital and had her admitted to another hospital where he performed brain surgery that saved her life.

All of this tragedy led Toots to the man that would be her second husband and the best thing, besides Georgina, that had come into her life. This man was Val Gene Stapley — Tony to his family and friends — who was a single dad trying to raise two boys and a girl.

While the story continues, I want to stop here and say that my mom and her husband are members of the “greatest generation.” This generation was filled with people that were: courageous, inventive and filled with hope and appreciation for what they had. My mother and her husband were no different.

As a young woman in Canada, Toots assisted her family during World War II to make ends meet, and Tony served in the U.S. Army, landing in Normandy on D-Day,

To her last breath, she was thankful for her life and her circumstances. Her body was failing her but her mind and heart continued to “be.” She had a great wit and loved to make people laugh. She became self-educated, reading and studying vocabulary all the time, turning her into an unbeatable Scrabble player, even into her 90s. She is loved beyond measure by her daughter.

“Bye mom and I hope one of these days, when the time is right, that I catch up with you on this part of your journey.”

Toots is survived by her daughter Georgina Valencia and son-in-law David Sandino. If you wish to remember Toots in some way the next time you are at a restaurant or bar, please tip your server generously. They may be raising a family on tip.